I heard that the world’s oldest profession is affected by the rise in gas prices. Really.
I heard the story on CNN yesterday and immediately ran to the website to see if it was online. There is a God in Heaven. You can read the article entitled “Brothels ‘double your stimulus’ plan fights fuel crisis.”
Reading it, I knew it was serious. But it was almost something that I would expect The Onion to come up with. But even then, they couldn’t come up with something this good. The highlights (read: points where I would have spit milk through my nose if I had been drinking milk and reading the article at the same time) of the article include:
- The fact that business is hurting from rising fuel costs
- The brothels are offering gas cards and other promotional incentives to drum up business (apparently sex is not the incentive it once was).
- Business has been down 25% in the last year (that struck me as funny).
- My favorite quotation from the article: “Times are tougher … and truckers have less money to spend. They’re not high-rollers anymore.” They’re. Not. High. Rollers. Anymore. Truckers. High Rollers. Wow.
- One brothel is offering the “double your stimulus” package: the first 100 customers who arrive with government stimulus checks receive twice the services for the same regular price. (Seriously. Think about this. Follow me here. How many of the male customers are really going to get their money’s worth here? Twice? Clearly, this works to the brothels advantage.)
One industry analyst predicts that the industry will weather this economic slowdown.
I’m speechless. Ain’t nothing more to say. Except, that it’s a damn shame that truckers aren’t the high rollers they used to be. It really is the end of an era…