I heard that a friend was a porn star. I need to qualify a few things: by “heard,” I mean that I first saw him–ahem–perform years ago and my suspicions that this might be the same person were confirmed by listening to the conversations of others; by “friend,” I mean someone who runs in my circle, but not someone who I would–oh, I don’t know–call; by “porn star,” I mean that he shot multiple scenes over the course of a couple of weeks and the video company probably successfully stretched all that footage into a multi-year career.
So I ran into this guy and some of our mutual friends the other night. I don’t know if you have ever been in the same physical space as someone–anyone–who you have seen on film (”film.” tee hee.), but it is quite a strange experience. Dream-like. Other worldly.
After years of letting the rumors fester and the accusations linger, I had to force the moment to its crisis. Sigh and shrug. It’s a role I play perfectly. Sometimes, all too perfectly.
I do have some tact, so I didn’t go to the source and ask him about his years, er, three weeks, in the porn industry. So, I went to his friend.
Me: Is it true that Ryan* was in porn? (As I already mentioned, I already kind of knew. But, it could have been someone else.)
Friend of Ryan’s**: I don’t know why that’s so important to people. Yeah. He spent like three weeks shooting some scenes. Money was tight. It was a difficult period. The company keeps releasing shit. Just when he thinks it is over, another tape comes out. It’s something none of us talk about. It’s not a big deal. He wishes he didn’t do it, but he’s got to live with it the rest of his life.
Friend of Ryan abruptly turned and left me speechless. Previous to that night, I did not know that if a person gets naked, performs sexual acts on camera knowing that it will be broadcast in perpetuity, you merely shrug it off, denounce all knowledge–nay, all existence–of its reality.
Thank God, I am too pretty for porn***. Or that could very well have been me being talked about.
______________________________________
* Not his real name.
**Real name. Just kidding.
***If only that were true.
Leave a Comment